Serious
by jtav
Summary: It's not serious. Or, Akira might be a bit in love with his homeroom teacher. Kurukami.


_This was a commission for a friend and a bit out of my shipping wheelhouse. Hope you enjoy._

* * *

Akira removed his blazer with a smile. Saturday nights were his favorite night of the week. School was over and he was a free man. A free man with a desire to see his favorite maid. He glanced at Morgana. "Why don't you take a walk around the neighborhood, see if the convenience store has anything good?"

Morgana yawned. "Why do you kick me out every Saturday night? Do you have a romance that you're keeping a secret?"

Akira froze. He'd never told anyone about Sadayo. The other Thieves meant well, but it would be only a matter of time before Morgana blurted it out to Ryuji when they were fighting and Ryuji would just plain blurt it out. His probation officer wouldn't like him using a maid service, but worse than that, it would cause trouble for Sadayo. She had a spark in her eye when she talked about teaching now, and she needed money for her sick sister. Akira would chop off his own hand before he messed that up for her. "I don't have a romance, but there is something I need to keep a secret. For a very serious reason."

"Phantom Thief serious?"

 _Not unless you can change the whole world's heart to make the teacher-student thing okay._ "I think this one is a bit outside our scope."

"Sure sounds like a romance to me, but I'll let you be Mr. Dramatic." Morgana nosed the door and walked out into the Tokyo night.

It wasn't, Akira thought as he waited for Sadayo to arrive, a romance. Romance meant hearts and flowers and dates at the Ferris wheel. Not a master and his maid meeting twice a week in a coffee shop. She cleaned and made him the coffee that kept him awake after a rough day in the Metaverse and looked great doing it. He flirted with her like crazy, and she pretended to be embarrassed. And then Monday morning they went back to being Mr. Kurusu and Ms. Kawakami.

He went upstairs and cleaned his room to the best of his ability. Sadayo had been running herself ragged trying to get more clients. No need for her to throw her back out on his account. Though she would probably find something to do anyway. The woman was an absolute neat freak.

The shopkeeper's bell jingled. Akira's smile died on his lips as he saw Sadayo. Her skin was pale, and the circles under her eyes were darker than normal. "Good evening, Master," she said with a more tired smile than usual.

Akira dashed to her and guided her to the nearest chair at the bar. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing. Just a bunch of clients on top of grading papers." She glared at him. "Your penmanship is atrocious by the way."

Akira shrugged. "Take care of yourself."

"I try." Her gaze flickered down. "My…sister's taken a turn for the worse. There's an experimental treatment that might help, but even with insurance…"

"Oh." He felt suddenly very small and very weak. The mighty Phantom Thief of Hearts, helpless before the frailty of the human body and the sheer cost of treatment. "At least let me make you some coffee."

"I'm supposed to make you coffee. It's in the employee handbook."

"I don't think your boss is ethical enough to have an employee handbook." He smiled at her. "Sakura taught me how to make a new kind of coffee, and I need a guinea pig. Jamaican Mountain Blue coffee beans."

"That's expensive." She looked at him as if he were a stray dog who was either going to roll over her belly rub or rip her throat out and she had no way to know which. "All right. Just one cup, though. Enough to get through the rest of these exams."

Akira turned on the coffee siphon. It was nice, sitting here watching the water boil, watching Sadayo watch him. The way her muscles loosened one by one. The way she twirled one finger around a lock of messy hair. The way she stretched, exposing her pale, perfect neck. Akira licked his lips. He wondered what it would be like to nibble down the column of her throat. Make her whimper and gasp. Pick her up and put her on the bar and—

"Akira!"

Akira snapped to attention to find steaming hot coffee. Literally steaming. "Sorry," he said sheepishly and poured her a cup. "You are a distraction. An evil, delicious, wonderful distraction."

A blush spread across her cheeks. "You shouldn't say such things."

"Why shouldn't I flatter a beautiful woman?" Even exhaustion couldn't hide it. He'd noticed she was pretty that first day, but he'd filed it away in the back of his min. Lots of teachers were pretty, and he couln'td do anything with Ms. Kawakami. Except he'd let Mishima talk him into that stupid maid party. And then suddenly she was Sadayo and he was allowed to notice. Hell, he paid five thousand yen a night for the privilege.

He stepped around to hand her the coffee. Their fingers brushed. The touch was warm on his skin, and electricity sparked through him. Yes he was allowed to notice. But not touch. There were other places that encouraged it and avoided prostitution charges on only the most technical grounds. It wasn't what Akira wanted anyway. What he wanted couldn't be purchased for five thousand yen or five million. And really, a teenager had no chance with someone like her. But he could still want. "Sadayo."

She took the cup, but her fingers trembled. She stared into the black liquid as if the secrets to some forgotten riddle lay within. "They were right about me. Here I am, getting too close to a student again." She looked up at him, miserable. "Here you are, spending your Saturday night with me because I'm a coward who wanted a client she could trust not to rape her on a call."

His skin prickled. Tonight wasn't going at all how he thought it would. And what did she mean getting too close to a student again? "Sadayo?" he repeated.

She looked at him, miserable. "You wouldn't want to be so close to me if you knew why I needed this job. I don't have a sick sister. I got too close to a student, and he died because of me. I killed him and now I'm paying for it. I'm a monster."

Akira staggered backward. Killed? He thought suddenly, irrationally of the phone in his back pocket. He should have put her name in the app before giving his heart away. But no. If there was one thing he had learned over the last few months, it was that monsters never thought they were monsters. But the victims of monsters were a different story. "I can whip up more coffee. Feel like sharing?"

She did. Akira wordlessly listened and refilled her cup of coffee as she told him in fits and starts about a boy, one branded a troublemaker like him. Except he wasn't. He'd been working three part-time jobs to pay rent to his aunt and uncle. So she had tutored him. And then the rumors had come: vicious slander that she was spending so much time alone with him so they could have sex. The school had given her an ultimatum: stop the tutoring sessions or resign.

"I stopped tutoring him. What else could I do?" She ran her hand through her mass of curls. "Taiki looked so broken when I told him. Like all the light had gone out of him. And that day...he got distracted on his way home from one of those jobs. He was hit by a car. Killed instantly."

"Oh." Akira forgot the rules, forgot the tension they had been dancing around for months. He stepped around the bar and crushed her to him. She was as warm as he had always imagined and soft, but far too thin. He wanted to confess everything about being the Phantom. He wanted to tell her that he had become an expert in those whose depraved indifference caused death and that she was nothing like them. He settled for stroking her hair and guiding her nose into the crook of his neck. "Shh. Shh. It wasn't your fault."

"If I'd never started tutoring him, he'd still be alive. A dropout, but alive. If I'd resigned and tutored him on the side, he'd still be alive. I ended up leaving the school anyway." She sniffed. "I made the worst of all possible choices. And the only thing I can do to atone for that is give his family money. That's why I'm here."

He stroked her hair again and again, murmuring soothing nonsense as he did so. Maybe he should put her name into the app. They had untangled Futaba's grief and guilt. Why not do the same for Sadayo? But it felt like cheating to do it without her permission. He might rip out some vital part of her along with the pain, and he was too much of a coward to tell her what he was. How did normal people handle stuff like this? "It really isn't your fault."

"It feels like my fault." She sighed and pulled back. "And anyway, his guardians expect their payment. Their price for keeping silent. Kobyakawa and the board would have my head. So here I am. Playing with fire. And the horrible thing is that I think I would enjoy getting burned."

Akira swallowed. His blood seemed to thunder in his ears as his fingers tensed. Sadayo wanted him. She had as good as said it. It would be the simplest thing in the world to take her into his arms and kiss away her grief. A few moments of mindless pleasure stolen in the dark. Wasn't that what phantom thieves did? Steal things? Wasn't that what he did? They'd traded innuendo for months. So why was he just holding her as if he were some kind of knight instead of a delinquent and she was his lady fair instead of his homeroom teacher and maid?

 _Because she'd regret it and I'm a sap._ He took her hand and squeezed it, once. "We'll put this right. I'm sure his guardians will understand. They wouldn't want you working yourself to death. And then maybe you can start believing that you are a great teacher."

"That's kind of you to say." She disentangled from him, and Akira could almost feel her drawing armor around herself. Ms. Kawakami and not Sadayo. "I should go. I have papers to finish grading and you have homework."

"I know." He should say something. Something sweet and romantic or something sexy that would make her face red. "Promise me that you'll get some sleep?" Wonderful. Poets would write of how suave he was.

"I will," she said and Akira knew that she was lying. The shopkeepers' bell rang in his ears as he she departed. Akira stood at the counter, watching. He clenched and unclenched his fist. He wasn't charming and didn't know how to soothe people without donning a mask and venturing to a parallel world of nightmares. But within that world? He was God. Sadayo needed money? By this time tomorrow, she'd have enough to buy her own maid agency if he wanted. He took out his phone and opened the texting app. _Anybody up for a trip to Mementos?_

* * *

The Shadow lumbered and fell to its knees. At least Akira thought they were knees. The thing looked like a cross between an elephant and a bowling ball. "Please! Please, let me go. I'll do anything." Water poured from slits where it's eyes should be. "Anything? Here, I've got these bandages to heal you up. Sorry I hit you so hard."

Akira kept his gun trained on it as he made a dismissive gesture with his free hand. "I've got enough of those. What I need is cold, hard cash."

"Fine, fine!" The Shadow flung wads of cash at him. "I don't even know what you mortals do with all this paper."

Akira jerked his gun to the side, and the creature dissolved into darkness. He leaned against the almost bonelike support that held up the otherworldly subway. Raising cash was more exhausting than he'd realized. He'd lost track of the number of gemstone-like Shadows he'd been forced to tackle before they could get away, and his arms and legs were heavy with exhaustion. But Sadayo would be free. "How much is it now, Queen?"

She looked a little sheepish beneath her mask. "I didn't bring my calculator. A lot, though. Maybe a few million. I lost track after the twentieth battle or so."

"Thirty-seven battles, three million four hundred and fifty thousand seven hundred and forty-three yen." Fubaba rubbed her hands in glee. "I could buy so many computer parts with this kind of money. Enough to build something they can finally run that program I wrote to get past those pesky Kirijo firewalls."

"I wasn't exactly planning to buy a new computer."

"What were you planning to do with it?" Makoto crossed her arms. "It would have been helpful to know that you could do this before I got blackmailed."

"Like you would have let the crime lord go, Miss Fists of Justice." He sighed and adjusted his mask. The only flaw in his otherwise brilliant plan was that he hadn't figured out what he was going to tell the others. "I need it for a...friend." Another smooth answer in a lifetime full of them."

"Does this have anything to do with the reason you kicked me out?"

"Joker's been kicking you out?"

"Yeah. Every Friday and Saturday night. I think he has a lady fr—"

Akira lunged forward and covered Morgana's mouth with his hand. The last thing he needed was for his friends to find out about him and Sadayo. Ryuji alone would never let him hear the end of it.

But it was too late. Ryuji broke out into a grin. "Our leader's finally got himself a girlfriend. Come on, spill."

"That would be rude, you philistine." Morgana sniffed with positively catlike superiority. "But I would like to know who has captured our leader's heart and left me to fend for myself in the cold, dark streets. All alone."

"I keep telling you. No one has captured my heart. It's nothing serious." How could it be serious when he couldn't even work up the nerve to kiss her? "But she's a friend, and she's stuck in a lousy job that she doesn't want. That's how we met. I was hoping I could help her with some bills. That's all. Isn't that what we do? Help people?"

It was exactly the wrong explanation. The others stared at him with open mouths, and the ghostly sounds of Mementos seemed to fall away. "You raised three million for her?" Ryuji said at last. "Wow, you really do have it bad."

"I do not! She's not interested in dating me, and I'm not interested in dating her. She just needs help."

"Joker's got a girlfriend, Joker's got a girlfriend."

Akira groaned in rage and frustration. "She's not my girlfriend! If she ever tried, she would be in very serious trouble and so would I. So unless you object to helping someone avoid working themselves to death, would you please cut the crap?" His breath came in harsh pants, but it felt good to unleash the anger on something, to stop smoldering ineffectively at the unfairness of the universe and the rules that said she would be a monster if she ever let him cross that line.

Yusuke nodded. "Very well. I would be a rather poor artist if I denigrated courtly love. I believe I saw another one of those gems head down the last intersection."

* * *

Akira shoved his hands in his pockets, and fought the urge to fidget. The envelope stuffed with money seemed even heavier than it was. Maybe it was stupid of him not to wait, but he didn't want Sadayo to be miserable for a moment longer than she had to be.

The door opened, but it wasn't Sadayo who entered. It was Ms. Chouno. "I'm sorry to tell you that Ms. Kawakami is ill and won't be coming to class today. Your other classes will continue as normal.

Nausea filled his gut. Sadayo was sick? He thought of how exhausted she had looked the other night. He should have done more for her, forced her to go straight back to bed instead of working for him. Put her in his bedroom if he had to. But he hadn't and now she was sick. "When will she be back?"

"I don't know." Her gaze fixed on him and her eyes hardened slightly. "Aren't you the boy that she's tutoring? I admire both of your dedication, but a sick tutor would be worse than useless to you. You'll have to study on your own for a while."

The rest of the school day passed in a blur. He caught Ann and Mishima staring at him a few times, but he couldn't muster much interest. Sadayo was sick, he had three million yen in his pocket, and he had no idea how to get it to her. He grit his teeth. For all their late-night talks and the sight of her in a maid's uniform, he knew so little about her. Where she lived, her home phone number, whether she had any siblings. There was nothing he could do except wait.

Well, maybe not. He waited until the other students were filing out of the classroom and Mishima was putting his books away. Akira pasted on his best smile and sidled up to him. "I need a favor."

"A favor?" Mishima looked up at him with bright, eager eyes that reminded Akira a bit of a puppy. "A Phansite favor? I've got some really good ideas for how to grow our audience."

"Er, not exactly. I was hoping you could get me Ms. Kawakami's number. I…left an essay for science class that I needed proofread with her, and I need it back before tomorrow."

He deflated. "Is that all?"

"That's all, but it's really important."

"I guess. Just give me a second." He took out his phone and began fiddling with an app that Akira didn't recognize.

Morgana nudged his hand from beneath his desk. "Is it really so important for you to get this essay? It's cramped in here. I didn't even know that you needed help. Your essays look fine to me."

"That they do. You get better grades than any of us in composition." Ann frowned at him. "What's going on?"

Heat spread across Akira's face. If he had made a list of people he didn't want finding out about him and Sadayo, Morgana and Ann would have been at the top. "Nothing. I get those grades because I work my butt off. Ms. Kawakami tutors me two nights a week, and I just really need to talk to her." He rounded to Mishima. "What's taking so long?"

"N—nothing." Mishima swallowed and held out his phone. "This is her cell phone number. Hurry up and call. You're scary like this."

"Sorry." He took a deep breath. Everything was going to be all right in a few minutes. He'd give the money to Sadayo, maybe talk her into letting him make them both some curry if she really was that sick. And then it would be over. She could pay the debt that she imagined she owed and be free. She wouldn't have to be a maid anymore. Which meant she wouldn't have to see him at Leblanc. No more of this...whatever it was that they had.

But no more of her being tired either. "I appreciate it."

"You're acting very strangely," Morgana said when Akira had found a secluded corner of the courtyard. "The mystery romance, the three million yen, and now being so agitated about Kawakami. Did you...have a bad reaction to Takami's last clinical trial?"

Morgana was lucky that he was the most adorable definitely-not-a-cat in the world.

"He definitely had a reaction to something," Ann said as she emerged from behind a column wearing an expression that Akira had never seen before. Not the white-hot rage that he had seen so many times in Kamoshida's Palace. She trembled slightly and her brows were knit together. "Why didn't you tell any of us?" she whispered. "We would have helped you."

A warning prickle like when a particularly dangerous Shadow was near spread across Akira's skin. "Helped me with what?"

"Kawakami taking advantage of you. I never thought about a female teacher hurting a guy, but it's still wrong no matter who's doing it. Say the word and her Palace is gone."

Anger, replaced fear. The very idea that Sadayo had anything in common with that monster made him want to hit something. "Nobody is taking advantage of me. Especially not Sadayo." His eyes widened as he realized his mistake, and he clapped his hand over his mouth as if he could somehow call the words back.

Ann's eyes glittered in triumph. "Really? You spend hours getting cash in Mementos for no reason? You didn't even do that when we were being blackmailed!"

"I—she's not taking advantage of me. She just… I just..." Again the words wouldn't come. "It's not what you think. She works a second job that she hates. I wanted to help. "He looked up at Ann, miserable and pleading. "Please. Just let this go. She's not hurting me like Kamoshida did you. We just talk a lot and she cleans things for me. Getting the crud off all that stuff from Mementos? That was her. I just want to return the favor."

Morgana blinked at him. "So you are in love with Ms. Kawakami? Isn't that dangerous?"

"Very dangerous." Ann muttered.

"It isn't serious. I mean, it's not like I kissed her or we've been out on dates. Talking and cleaning, like I said. Now I have a chance to help her not be so miserable. Please, just let me make this phone call."

"Lady Ann," Morgana said slowly, "I think you should let him call, as much as it hurts me to contradict you. I don't think this is what it was like for you before we came."

"No, I don't think it is either." She looked like she was going to be sick. "I don't know what it is exactly, but I'm going to trust you. Promise me that you'll tell us if things go south. I won't let another person be hurt like Shiho was."

"I won't be. "He took out his phone. "I'll let you hear. It's not like she's going be keeping her job after today anyway." He dialed, and try to keep down the butterflies in his stomach. "Sadayo?"

An unfamiliar voice answered. "She can't come to the phone right now. She's been hospitalized for exhaustion."

The world lurched on its axis. The nausea that had threatened earlier became overpowering. "Hospitalized? Exhaustion?" The words came out as rasps. Shivers seized his whole body, and a mindless, disbelieving terror filled his brain until it was all that he knew.

The brisk voice continued on as if she gave this kind of news every day. "Yes. I'm a ward nurse at Ayoyama Hospital. Ms. Kawakami is right here. Resting."

"May I speak to her?"

A few seconds of indistinct arguing followed, and then Sadayo answered. "Why did I know you'd call?" She sounded like she was in desperate need of a glass of water.

"Because I'm reliable." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I told you not to work yourself so hard. I'm coming over there right now. I've got good news for you. You won't have to wear yourself out anymore."

"Akira..."

"No 'buts.' I'll see you soon." He hung up.

The silence was heavy in the air as the three Phantom Thieves looked at each other. Finally, Ann closed her eyes. "I'm going to regret this. Go to her, or whatever it is you're supposed to say in situations like this."

* * *

Akira smiled and stood. It wasn't approval, but it would do. He had a hospital visit to make.

The hospital was alive with patients, orderlies, and family members, such that Akira felt even more anonymous than usual as he slipped toward Sadayo's room, and the stench of disinfectant assaulted his nostrils. He had a good hour before visiting hours were over. Enough time to overcome any objections she had to accepting his help. Hopefully.

He opened the door and suppressed a shuddering breath. Sadayo looked terribly small and fragile propped up by pillows. Her skin was ashen and an IV had been jammed into her arm. Akira gripped the door frame. _I'll protect you. I don't care if we never speak in private again after today, I'll protect you. You matter to me._

She looked up at him, and her smile was tired but genuine. "You are very persistent, Akira. But I'm glad to see you."

He crossed the distance to her. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, but he was suddenly mindful of his school uniform. Anyone might walk in, and then where would they be? So he settled for pulling up a chair at her bedside. "Of course I'd come. How could I go a Friday without seeing my favorite maid?"

She laughed, but he came out more like a cough. "I'm afraid that I'm not up to doing your laundry tonight, Master. Shame because I really needed the money."

Akira smiled despite himself. "Speaking of money, I have the most wonderful news for—"

"There you are."

Akira turned to find two people in the loudest clothes he had ever seen. The man strode into the hospital room like he owned the place. "Do you know how long it took us to get in touch with you? We had to call the school and when it sounded like you finally did answer, it was some nurse!"

What little color Sadayo possessed drained from her face. "You—you called the school?"

"Of course we did," said the woman. "It's really inconvenient for us when you miss a payment."

Sadayo sank further into the pillows. "I'll pay."

Akira swallowed and did his best to make his voice even. "And you are?"

The man looked at Akira the same way people had for the last six months: like he was worth less than the gunk on the bottom of his shoe. ""Shut up, kid. Ms. Kawakami here got our Takai killed, and now she's got to pay."

The Takase's then. Somehow Akira had expected people who had been financially devastated by their nephew's death to look a little more harried. "Taiki's death wasn't Ms. Kawakami's fault."

Mrs. Takase glared at him. "What would you know about it? Our Taiki was studying when he should have been working. And it was Ms. Kawakami who put those ideas into his head. Studying when he should have been paying our bills in gratitude for taking him in. Our credit card bill is coming up."

"I can have it by tomorrow."

Anger, cold and sharp and clear, filled him. He had become very familiar with people like the Takases over the last few months. They were predators who had bled their nephew dry in service to their own greed. Now they were bleeding Sadayo. And they would never stop. Even the millions in his pocket wouldn't sate their greed. "Don't pay them."

"Who the hell are you?"

Sadayo's eyes went wide and her voice was placating. "This is one of my students. He came to visit me. Don't mind him."

Mr. Takase laughed. "A student? You never learn, do you? You continue to teach and seduce other students. I bet that you aren't even sorry for what you did to Taiki."

"Of course I am. I'd do anything to have him alive again."

"Well then, we're going to need proof in a material and undeniable way. Or we're going to contact the school board. And the police. I bet they'll be really sensitive to the situation after what happened to Kamoshida."

Predators. But that didn't seem strong enough. These people were demons that didn't need the Metaverse to exist. Akira's fingers flexed. Despite what people like Niijima and Akechi seemed to think, stealing hearts was rarely personal. It was a good deed, like paying for the dinner of the person behind him in the takeout line. Joker's anger was a distant, if righteous, thing. But he wanted to kill these two for what they had done to Sadayo. No, they weren't going to get a single yen from him or her ever again. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why not? We've got all the cards here."

"Akira, please."

"Akira, heh. Why don't we leave the two lovebirds alone, Ms. Kawakami is going to have her hands full starting tomorrow. Their laughter rang down the hall.

Sadayo buried her face in her hands. "Oh no. What am I going to do now? I guess I really will have to take that job with the sister company."

"No. Don't give them anything. You don't have to sell yourself or do anything that you don't want to do." He took her hand. "I promise you that I can make it stop. All I need is their full names."

"Full names? What good would that do?"

"You'd be surprised." He laced their fingers together. Her skin was as warm and soft as it ever was, but there was something different too. It felt perfectly right and natural to be holding Sadayo's hand and slaying dragons for her. Not serious? What an idiot he had been. He loved her, and that didn't depend on transient things like whether she could kiss him. "Give me their names, and they will never bother you again."

"Heh, the only person who can do something like that is—" Her eyes went wide and she swallowed. "Kamoshida. He hated you. He's the one who leaked your criminal record. And you're the one who made him stop. I should have seen it before now. Phantom."

So this was how it ended. He was less afraid than he thought he would be. He loved her, and she knew what he was. If the ax had to fall, he would rather it be by her hand than that of some ambitious prosecutor or know-it-all detective. He held out his hands, palms up. "Now you know. What are you going to do about it?"

"Do? I—I don't know. You are the most wanted criminal in a hundred years. How do you even do what it is you do?"

"Magic, or close enough to it. But only against bad people like the Takases to help good people. Like you."

"A good person wouldn't carry on the way I have with you," she said quietly. "But you can do that? Make it so that they never bother me again?"

"I can. I can make them repay every yen they stole from you. And then you can quit your job. We don't ever have to talk like this again. You can turn me over to the police. I imagine they'll give you anything you want. But let me save you first."

She swallowed. "Their names are Toshio and Hiromi Takase. Heaven help me."

Akira bowed. "It shouldn't take more than a day or so. I'll let you rest." He walked to the door.

"Akira."

Akira turned back and Sadayo motioned him closer. She took his hand. One by one, she kissed his fingertips and palm. Her lips were soft and slightly chapped and even in this place, she felt like. Akira shuddered. Any moment now, he was going to wake up. But still she planted small kisses on his skin. "Be careful, sweetheart.

Sweetheart? It sounded even better than Master. "I will." He blinked his eyes against the tears that were threatening to form and pulled out the manila envelope. "I was going to pay them off but now...well, I'm sure you can think of something. Don't open it until I leave. I don't want you to kill me."

"I'm sure I'll have many opportunities to kill you in the future." She gave his hand a last kiss. "Now, go get them."

"Yes, ma'am."


End file.
